But they are so important in dialogue sections that to remove them is to leave a section feeling rushed. Sometimes that is a necessary pace, but usually our dialogue needs to be expanded by those little bits of internal thoughts, body language, and stage direction that tells so much about the characters saying the words. Claire G. at the Books and Writers Forum has created the most amazing exercise for this month that looks at these little bits that make our dialogue flow so much better.
Here's her explanation:
Beats are the words that help form the rhythm of your conversations. They are the information you provide nestled between the dialogue of your scenes as actions, thoughts, and observations.
As you write your drafts, you may or may not be aware of the way your words flow around the dialogue, or of their importance. This exercise will draw your attention to them and make you consider the “micro” detail of what is happening around each conversation your characters hold. It’s an exercise in both editing and craft- one that some will do while they write, but others will not consider until they edit. Either approach is fine.
And here's a bit of my version of the exercise:
(first without the beats)
“Mack, Samantha didn’t tell me much, but
she was upset about your class.”
“Lost
my temper.”
“What did they do?”
“You know that little hallway between
the door and the chorus room? The one by my office?”
“I always wondered who thought a teacher
could monitor the hall during class change and supervise the student already in
the chorus room.”
“Exactly!” “Four idiots were chicken
fighting when I came in after the bell.”
(Now with them)
“Mack, Samantha didn’t tell me much, but
she was upset about your class.” A crisp wind scattered the leaves along the
pavement and tugged at my jacket.
The lights over the parking lot gave me
a good view of his face as his jaw tightened.
“Lost
my temper.” His hands moved into parade rest as if he were on report.
But teens had a way of causing a lost temper. “What
did they do?”
He glanced at me looking for judgment,
but who was I to judge a teacher for finding their limit. I knew he’d commanded
young Marines scarcely older than his students, but they had signed up for it.
“You
know that little hallway between the door and the chorus room? The one by my
office?”
“I always wondered who thought a teacher
could monitor the hall during class change and supervise the student already in
the chorus room.”
“Exactly!” His face brightened. “Four
idiots were chicken fighting when I came in after the bell.”
Which one tells you more about Mack?
Once I get all of FRIENDLY FIRE together, I'll spend some time going line by line and checking my beats out so that they doing their job.
Late breaking news!!!
I've finished my reread of FRIENDLY FIRE. Let's just say that the back third will keep readers turning the pages. So, now all I have to do is fix the front two thirds to get them into the story enough to get there. ; )
